fun-times urban cookie collective (reverend_runt) wrote in h_l_i,
fun-times urban cookie collective

Miracle ear.

Earlier this morning, in a post-Grey-Goose-&-Fresca haze, I took Possum & Sebastian for a walk in the park next to my building. While the doggies were rooting around in a patch of grass by the park entrance, a lone female jogger was doing her pre-run stretchings/kegel excercises on a nearby parkbench and a homelesse man was hobbling towards us with a toothy grin and a crooked baseball cap.

"Hey! Can you spell nickel?" the homelesse man asked me. Normally, I would've ignored him, but for some reason I didn't. I guess I was feeling up to the challenge.

"N. I. C. K. E. L. - nickel," I answered haughtily (and correctly), proving to all that even in my hungover state, my intellectual faculties remained pristinely intact and I was not one to be toyed with.

The homelesse man stopped. His face dropped and his eyes got big and he stared at me like I was the devil. Confused, I looked over at Miss Kegel. She had overheard the exchange and stopped her stretchings and was looking at me like I had just tossed a baby into a boiling cauldron (I hadn't). I was like what's your problem, freaks? (not aloud) and just scowled at both of them before returning my attention to Possum & Sebastian and their rootings.

The homelesse man then resumed his hobbling, now towards Miss Kegel.

"Hey! Can you spare a nickel?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry," she responded way over-politely, "but I'm afraid I don't have any change on me." And she glared at me again.

Realizing my error but only semi-ashamed, I tucked Possum & Sebastian's leash handles between my elbow and side and brought my thumbs and forefingers into W formation in front of my face and mouthed "whatevar" at Miss Kegel. Then I turned to the homelesse man and, for good measure and for the sakes of parallel structure and closure, gave him a silent "whatevar" too before urging Possum & Sebastian back towards the building, quickly.
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